Stop being a victim of criticism

Does your boss (or someone else) constantly criticize you? These 3 tips can help.

If you are fortunate enough to report to a boss who is supportive, encouraging and looks out for the best interest of the company and the people who work for it you don’t need to read this post. If not, this post contains 3 key steps you can take today to feel better about yourself and change your thinking about your situation.

I worked with a client whose boss belittled her in front of the company’s very best customer. She was the lead account executive and was concerned the customer may cancel their contract. A meeting was held with the customer’s executive team, my client, and her boss. As the meeting unfolded the boss blamed my client for all the problems the customer had experienced, none of which were under my client’s direct control. She left the meeting bewildered by her boss’s actions and frustrated that a client relationship was now in jeopardy. She was dreading going to work the next day. Here are the three actions she took to get her confidence back.

 

1) As she got ready for work the next morning, she practiced what Amy Cuddy calls power poses. In her Ted Talk, Cuddy a Harvard professor, describes the following: standing up straight, shoulders back, with your hands on your hips, feet hip width apart. She calls it the Wonder Woman Pose. The second is similar but instead of hands on your hips raise your arms in the air just like you are the first to cross the finish line in a race. This is the Victory Stance. Stand in the pose for two minutes and repeat affirmations such as: I am confident. I am smart. My customers love me.


2) Then she wrapped herself in an invisible force field so any angry, belittling, or derogatory remarks her boss made bounced off the field unable to penetrate her psyche.


3) She began to ask a different question. Instead of thinking: why is this happening to me? She asked herself: Why is this happening for me? When we ask – why is this happening for me we can look at the advantages of the situation instead of the frustration and heartache. She began to journal about ways she could look at the situation with her boss as a learning experience and how she could use it to her advantage, instead of getting caught up in the angst and frustration.


Looking for the good in the situation can be a challenge yet it is possible. It is an opportunity to look inside yourself and get a new mindset. Consider recent events and ask yourself why is happening for you and post your response here. Looking forward to hearing from you.