Have you ever said things like: “I have to go to work today”, or “I should be at the board meeting”, or “I must make this call”? Using words like have to, should or must creates an internal response of rejecting the activity. It is like saying to yourself I’m required to do this thing, but I would rather not. Instead using words like get to, chose to, or want to.
When you replace have to with get to the sentence has a whole new meaning. “I get to go to work today”, has an entirely different feel to it then “I have to go to work today”. Saying I get to implies a choice and as humans we like the freedom of choice.
Part of the challenge was are facing in our world today is the fact that are choices are limited to reduce the spread of COVID 19. Masks are now required when we go out to a public space. Tell yourself “I get to wear a mask to protect myself and others”, as opposed to “I must wear this mask!” Or “I am going to choose to social distance myself from others,” instead of “I have to stand six feet apart in line”.
The same applies to other daily activities. I get to make a call on a potential customer. I want to have this conversation with one of my team members. I chose to work on this project first thing this morning.
Acting by choice is different than when we are forced to do something.
Remember when you were a kid and a parent made you clean your room or eat your vegetables? A command from an adult set up feelings of internal resistance – I don’t want to! Even if we did as we were told we felt frustrated, angry, and upset. The same thing can happen to us as adults. When we tell our self, some action is required, those same negative feelings come up as a response. Making a choice eliminates those negative emotions.
Remember, your brain believes everything you tell it. Pay attention to the words you are using out loud and in your internal dialogue. Change your language and you will change how you feel. Try it and post your results here.